.fetch.

We have a big golden retriever named Cooper.  We love our Cooper but he isn’t a very good retriever. We often take Cooper to the school down the street, into the back field where there is a huge open field to run and fetch a ball.

So here’s how it usually goes. I fling the ball. Cooper locks in, and sprints to the ball. Then I have to yell quick enough and loud enough at the very moment he retrieves that ball, so he will lock eyes with me and bring it back. If I don’t get his attention soon enough, he is off. He begins running in the opposite direction to chase a squirrel or see if the school kids left cheetos on the black top. The problem with this is that it is a huge field and somewhere along his journey to the cheetos he drops the ball and it takes me forever to find it again. But, if I get his attention right as soon as he scoops the ball into his mouth, if he locks eyes with me, than we are good and Cooper is flying back to me so we can do it again.

This past weekend Copper was the naughtiest dog he has ever been. No matter how loud I yelled, he wouldn’t lock eyes with me. He ran off. Way off. Apparently there was a smell in the mud that he had to rub himself in. But I was tired of trying to get his attention and so I let him go for it. Fine I thought, get all dirty and then you’ll have to have a bath. (which he hates)

I guess it got me thinking, because as he ran off, I actually said out loud to God, I’m Copper, huh?  The minute I take my eyes off of you, I am running full force ahead in a different direction. Call it squirrel syndrome, but what it really is, is the lust of my wicked heart that desires what Jesus says is not good for me. Mud puddles that might initially be fun to jump in but leave me all dirty.  When I lock into the eyes of my Father, I don’t run….I revel. I know God doesn’t give up on me, like I do on Cooper. I know He doesn’t desire a bath to be my punishment. But I do think sometimes He allows us to have our way and reap the consequences of jumping in the mud.  The amazing thing is when we crawl out, all covered in the filth of our sin, He is right there waiting to wash us off.

That said...  Romans 6:1 “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?

Oh my prayer as I write this, is that I would look hard and long into the eyes of Jesus.

That my eyes would FIX on Him.

That I would be CAPTIVATED by My Lord.

That the  gaze wouldn’t be broken every time I see a “squirrel” out of the corner of my eye or smell a “cheeto”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY (you gotta check this song out!)

Jesus, FIX my eyes on YOU,  the author and perfector of my faith.

.data entry.

I've been doing a lot of data entry this week. Data Entry into the minds of my babies. Here's the thing. Everywhere I turned this week, people were speaking to my kids. The TV, coaches, piers, songs, teachers. And all of them speaking into their lives.

Telling them who they are. Who they are suppose to be. Who they want to be. Who they should become.

Sadly, the cry of the masses speak so many things into their lives that I don't agree with. Actually, I more than disagree with them, I know most of what they are telling them is wrong. You are successful if you do _____, Happiness is ______,You are worth something if you_______, You need to be more. You need to be less. You need to be whatever. I'm sick of the lies!

The world wants to tell them who they are. Invite them on a journey to "find" themselves. Maybe I think too simply about this, but can't the answer to who we are be defined by just this?  We are what Jesus thinks about us. 

We are His. We were planned. We were created for His purposes. Created for His pleasure. We are His temple. We are precious in His sight. We are forgiven. We are new.  We were cleansed to walk in fellowship with Him. We are beloved. We are His bride. We are chosen. We are adopted as sons. We are permanent. We are dependent. We are Desperate. We are free. We are loved and clothed in the blood of the Most High's son, Jesus. That's who we are.

Ok, so how do I instill that in my child? Not a puffed up self-esteem, but Christ esteem?

I think it's this: He has to be the loudest voice they hear. Our job is to help make their world a place they can hear HIM. We need to silence the voices we can. Speak against the ones we can't. And mostly, we need to speak His word into their precious, hungry, impressionable hearts. I mean looking them in their eyes and telling them who Jesus has made them to be. Who He sees them as. Affirming the gifts we see in them. Warning them about the sins we know Jesus wants to rid them from. Speaking TRUTH into their life!

Data Entry.

.we hide in His wounds.

Sometimes a song says more than what i can think of to say....:)

Just copy and paste the links.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5EnizmtjcU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmuSSi9eA94

Excellence vs. Porformance - the battle continues!

I have a good friend named Olivia who wrote a brilliant article entitled "Excellence vs. Performance Parenting!" When I read this article last year it rocked my world. God began to show me the differences between WANTING to be my best for Him, and NEEDING to be the best for myself or others, I was halted in some of my parenting techniques and my own attitudes. Freed!

But this past week, I found myself sulking in that similar place that God brought me out of last fall. Irritated over anything and everything falling short of my expectations; messy rooms, disgusting toilet seats, stinky cars, moldy cleats, forgotten lunches, forgotten assignments, B's, changing schedules, changed plans, late practices, sickness....the list goes on. SO WHY this need for everything to be perfect?

Question: Why do I deal with temporary insanity?  Answer: Pride.
I found myself re-calling Olivia's article.

"True excellence stems from passion for God and desire to bring Him glory. It is the product of a heart and soul at rest. Performance is the need to succeed and satisfy personal significance."

I spent much of yesterday on my way to San Francisco praying that God would continue to free me, and help me be able to aid my kids in a creating a desire to be their best for their KING,without needing to be their best for themselves or others, (OR ME!)

This morning when I got home from the am drop off,  I went and shut the doors to three messy bedrooms. There. Better. They can wait!  As for the toilet seat, I took the whole thing OFF. I'm just not willing to concede to sitting in p--. I have decided that the only way this problem is going to get solved is if they have to fall in a few times.

So we have one seatless toilet, three messy closed bedrooms, and one freed mommy, AGAIN (for today).

Here's to a week of balance...trying to be our best for Jesus, without straining to be perfect for others or ourselves!
Bre

"Independence week" - 8/30/2010

This has been what I've been dealing with the last two weeks - Their desire for more independence, and my desire to hold on to them even tighter. (Granted, just because they want it, doesn't mean they should get it, and each situation is individual)  But we aren't talking about them wanting to move out or have a credit card, we are talking about things like a freshmen science/camping trip to the coast (without mom and dad) and a first dance.

Sometimes my first reaction in parenting is to act out of fear, rather than to seek God and walk in wisdom.

After some coffee with a friend, it was clear that the issue staring me on my plate continues to be - Am I trusting Jesus? I mean, am I really seeking what He wants for them as each of these issues/opportunities arise, or am I parenting of of fear from what I think could happen, or what they might do.

DISCLAIMER: the point of this blog post is not to endorse school dances or school camping trips. :)

But, in all seriousness, I needed to be reminded this week that my kids are not really mine. So here's to a new week of parenting in that freedom, rather than in fear!!!

The first Post

It's time for change...or rather, the times are changing. This entire summer, I have thought and dreamed about what this blog could become.  I need support from other moms, and you probably don't know too many moms who are willing to be vulnerable enough to be real while they are growing through it. So let's help each other. Let's write and share about real life, about our hopes, dreams, and disasters. Let's inspire each other to pursue the goal and run for the prize. If we do it alone, we will fail. As they say, "it takes a village to raise a child"....And as He says, "wisdom comes from many advisors".

Please share and comment!

in pursuit,

Bre Golden